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The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > girl-scouts-to-award-muslim-badge-to-any-girl-who-gets-married-before-age-8

Girl Scouts To Award Muslim Badge To Any Girl Who Gets Married Before Age 8

13+ hour, 11+ min ago   (33+ words) U.S. — The Girl Scouts of America, in cooperation with the Islamic Center of America in Dearborn, MI, unveiled a new Muslim badge girls could earn by getting married before the age of 8....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > bugs-bunny-declares-for-wnba-draft

Bugs Bunny Declares For WNBA Draft

14+ hour, 25+ min ago   (27+ words) LOS ANGELES, CA — Officials for the Women's National Basketball Association announced this week they have received a letter of intent from Bugs Bunny to enter the draft....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-officially-classifies-liberal-women-as-terrorist-organization

Trump Officially Classifies Liberal Women As Terrorist Organization

1+ day, 8+ hour ago   (26+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — In remarks delivered from the Oval Office on Tuesday, President Donald Trump announced that he had officially classified liberal women as a terrorist organization....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > apocalypse-draws-near-as-last-remaining-universally-beloved-human-being-passes-away

Apocalypse Draws Near As Last Remaining Universally Beloved Human Being Passes Away

1+ day, 11+ hour ago   (0+ words) ...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > wnba-forced-to-admit-kanter-is-a-woman-after-he-causes-big-dramatic-scene

WNBA Forced To Admit Kanter Is A Woman After He Causes Big Dramatic Scene

1+ day, 14+ hour ago   (26+ words) U.S. — After Enes Kanter caused a big dramatic scene in public, the WNBA was forced to admit that the former NBA player is indeed a woman....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > father-puts-kids-up-for-adoption-after-they-say-uhf-isnt-funny

Father Puts Kids Up For Adoption After They Say 'UHF' Isn't Funny

2+ day, 7+ hour ago   (39+ words) PEORIA, IL — County officials said they would not stand in the way after local man Christopher P. Smith putting his children up for adoption after they told him the 1989 "Weird" Al Yankovic film UHF wasn't funny....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > bible-scholars-now-believe-david-yelled-kobe-while-hucking-stone-at-goliath

Bible Scholars Now Believe David Yelled, 'Kobe!' While Hucking Stone At Goliath

2+ day, 9+ hour ago   (30+ words) VALLEY OF ELAH — A group of theologians and biblical scholars recently concluded that there was reason to believe that David yelled "Kobe!" while hucking a stone at Goliath....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-threatens-military-action-to-take-control-of-canadas-maple-syrup-supply

Trump Threatens Military Action To Take Control Of Canada's Maple Syrup Supply

2+ day, 9+ hour ago   (27+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — With tensions rising over an ongoing trade dispute, President Donald Trump threatened to send in the military to seize control of Canada's maple syrup supply....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > bruce-banner-reveals-his-secret-to-becoming-hulk-is-that-hes-always-angry-at-the-jews-444

Bruce Banner Reveals His Secret To Becoming Hulk Is That He's Always Angry At The Jews

2+ day, 10+ hour ago   (44+ words) NEW YORK, NY — Over the weekend, Dr. Robert Bruce Banner shared a little insight into how he was able to maintain some semblance of control over his transformation into the Incredible Hulk by confirming a deep, personal secret: he's always…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > new-data-center-built-to-handle-influx-of-online-rants-against-data-centers

New Data Center Built To Handle Influx Of Online Rants Against Data Centers

2+ day, 10+ hour ago   (26+ words) LANCASTER, PA — Local officials confirmed on Monday that a new data center had been constructed to handle the massive influx of online rants about data centers....