News
American Enters Day 3 Of Searching For Exit From Roundabout
2+ hour, 31+ min ago (18+ words) PARIS " American visitor Ben Garfield reportedly entered day three of attempting to find an exit from a roundabout....
Nation Agrees To Let Biden Be President To Hear Him Attempt To Say 'Semiquincentennial"
4+ hour, 51+ min ago (43+ words) WASHINGTON, D. C. " America was in for a treat this holiday weekend, as the nation agreed to allow Joe Biden to be president again for one day during the nation's 250th birthday celebration just to hear him attempt to say the word "semiquincentennial....
Sad: Woman Gives Birth On Border And Now Only Baby's Top Half Is American
1+ day, 5+ hour ago (30+ words) EL PASO, TX " Witnesses reported that a migrant woman gave birth right on the U. S. -Mexico border this morning, sadly making only the top half of the baby American....
Mom Threatens Kids With A Road Trip If They Don't Behave
1+ day, 4+ hour ago (31+ words) BIRMINGHAM, AL " A new technique for managing children was discovered this week, as local woman Sarah Bailey got her kids to behave by threatening them with a fun family road trip....
Mamdani Offers To Cool New Yorkers Down By Sending Them To Siberian Gulag
1+ day, 6+ hour ago (47+ words) NEW YORK, NY " Mayor Zohran Mamdani asked New Yorkers weathering the heatwave to keep their thermostats at a scorching 78 degrees so as not to tax the city's inadequate power grid. Still, Mamdani said he had other ways to cool down…...
Rape Gang Busted In The UK For Illegal Air Conditioner Use
2+ day, 2+ hour ago (22+ words) LONDON " A rape gang was busted Wednesday after British police received an anonymous tip that they'd been illegally using an air conditioner....
Supergirl Unveils New Superpower Of Losing $100 Million In A Single Week
2+ day, 2+ hour ago (33+ words) METROPOLIS " The public was once again amazed by one of its heroes in recent days, as Supergirl unveiled a new superpower, showing the awesome ability to lose $100 million in a single week....
Trump Announces $1 Trillion Project To Clone Clarence Thomas
2+ day, 5+ hour ago (24+ words) WASHINTGON, D. C. " In the wake of yesterday's Supreme Court rulings, President Trump has announces a $1 trillion initiative to clone Justice Clarence Thomas....
SCOTUS Rules Invading Xenomorphs Who Hatch On Earth Are Officially Citizens Of Earth
2+ day, 6+ hour ago (30+ words) WASHINGTON, D. C. " In yet another surprising decision that divided public opinion, the United States Supreme Court ruled that invading Xenomorphs who hatch on Earth are officially citizens of Earth....
Man Upset As Someone Calls Him On Device Specifically Designed For People To Call Him On
3+ day, 1+ hour ago (26+ words) TOPEKA, KS " Local man Samuel Denton was deeply upset Tuesday afternoon after his device, which is specifically designed to receive phone calls, received a phone call....