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News

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > church-introduces-breakaway-stained-glass-windows-for-introverts-to-use-during-sharing-of-the-peace

Church Introduces Breakaway Stained Glass Windows For Introverts To Use During Sharing Of The Peace

17+ hour, 35+ min ago   (30+ words) SPRINGFIELD, MO — St. Luke's Lutheran Church of Springfield updated all of its sanctuary's stained-glass windows with "breakaway glass" for introverts to use during the sharing of the peace....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > 11-most-effective-punishments-for-parents-to-use-on-their-gen-alpha-kids

11 Most Effective Punishments For Parents To Use On Their Gen Alpha Kids

18+ hour, 31+ min ago   (41+ words) Every generation is unique, and parents of Gen Alpha kids are quickly learning that the world has changed quite a bit over these past few decades. The punishments of yesteryear simply don't work on kids today. But don't lose hope,…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > wnba-subreddit-bans-any-mention-of-women

WNBA Subreddit Bans Any Mention Of 'Women"

19+ hour, 24+ min ago   (22+ words) U.S. — The online Reddit community of WNBA fans announced that it had officially banned any and all mention of "women."...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > new-x-men-movie-expected-to-flop-as-they-went-woke-and-made-storm-black

New 'X-Men' Movie Expected To Flop As They Went Woke And Made Storm Black

20+ hour, 40+ min ago   (31+ words) U.S. — Entertainment industry insiders predicted that the upcoming Marvel Studios X-Men reboot would flop after the producers chose to go woke and make the character "Storm" an African-American woman....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > mormon-teen-takeover-leaves-three-new-houses-built-for-homeless

Mormon Teen Takeover Leaves Three New Houses Built For Homeless

21+ hour, 12+ min ago   (32+ words) PROVO, UT — A mob of local Mormon teenagers engaging in the popular internet trend of staging a "takeover" reportedly left three new houses built for the homeless in its wake....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > faith-in-humanity-instantly-restored-by-kids-lemonade-stand

Faith In Humanity Instantly Restored By Kids’ Lemonade Stand

1+ day, 22+ hour ago   (26+ words) FRISCO, TX — Local woman Samantha Johnson's faith in humanity was instantly restored this afternoon after she drove up to find neighborhood kids doing a lemonade stand....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > church-introduces-hogwarts-sorting-hat-to-identify-your-spiritual-gifts

Church Introduces Hogwarts Sorting Hat To Identify Your Spiritual Gifts

3+ day, 3+ hour ago   (22+ words) HOUSTON, TX — Local church Crestview Methodist reportedly introduced a fun new "sorting hat" to identify the spiritual gifts of members....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > oh-crap-government-threatens-to-fix-something

Oh, Crap: Government Threatens To Fix Something

3+ day, 3+ hour ago   (15+ words) U.S. — Panic spread across the nation today after the federal government threatened to fix something....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > c-from-coexist-sticker-arrested-for-running-over-other-letters-with-a-truck

‘C' From ‘Coexist’ Sticker Arrested For Running Over Other Letters With A Truck

3+ day, 19+ hour ago   (37+ words) NEW YORK, NY — A portion of downtown New York was closed on Friday after the "C" from the now famous "COEXIST" bumper sticker reportedly ran over the other letters with a U-Haul truck....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > after-observing-adam-for-two-minutes-god-decides-mans-going-to-need-a-helper

After Observing Adam For Two Minutes, God Decides Man's Going To Need A Helper

3+ day, 20+ hour ago   (24+ words) EDEN — According to Heavenly sources, a final decision was made to provide a helper suitable for Adam after observing him for just two minutes....