News
Wife Can't Wait To Get Out There And Be Horrible At Gardening Again
10+ hour, 5+ min ago (26+ words) BOISE, ID " With spring in full swing, one local woman expressed excitement at the chance to finally get back outside and be horrible at gardening again....
8 Scary Facts About Data Centers
10+ hour, 48+ min ago (44+ words) AI uses a lot of power, and it needs massive data centers to support it. That's why, despite data centers having existed for decades, people are suddenly running for the hills. But do they have a reason to be afraid?...
MLB Introduces 10-Run Mercy Rule For Boston Red Sox
11+ hour, 33+ min ago (29+ words) BOSTON, MA " To keep games from getting out of hand, Major League Baseball announced that it would be implementing a 10-run "mercy rule" for the Boston Red Sox....
Baal Returns From The Bathroom To Find All His Prophets Dead
12+ hour ago (22+ words) MOUNT CARMEL " The demon known as "Baal" returned from a bathroom break only to find all of 450 of his prophets dead....
New Polls Show Dead Heat Between "Make Everything Worse" Candidate And "Fix Everything" Candidate
12+ hour, 25+ min ago (25+ words) U. S. " New polling data in an ongoing political race showed a dead heat between the "Make Everything Worse" candidate and the "Fix Everything" candidate....
Father Gathers Loved Ones To Break The News That He's Getting Really Into The Civil War
13+ hour, 17+ min ago (26+ words) BANGOR, ME " Local dad David Kemp gathered his family together today to break the news to them that he's getting really into the American Civil War....
Smart Man Saves Time By Getting Angry Now Instead Of Waiting Until All The Facts Are Known
14+ hour, 23+ min ago (84+ words) ALTOONA, PA " Local man Ted Woods got tired of all the time spent getting angry online. "There's always something new to get angry at each day," Woods said. "And you never know what time the facts will come out confirming…...
Data Center Built In Theodore Roosevelt's Mustache
14+ hour, 50+ min ago (37+ words) KEYSTONE, SD " In a historic victory for American infrastructure, the Department of the Interior announced the successful installation of a 50, 000-square-foot data center within Mt. Rushmore that can be accessed through Teddy Roosevelt's mustache....
London Mayor Confused By Protesters Not Chanting "Death To Jews
1+ day, 11+ hour ago (21+ words) LONDON " London Mayor Sadiq Khan was deeply confused by protests over the weekend where no one was shouting "Death To Jews."...
Uncultured Philistine Declines To Have Ice Cream Served In Waffle Cone
2+ day, 11+ hour ago (37+ words) TUCSON, AZ " Local man Dale Swanson declined to have his double scoops of mint chocolate chip and strawberry ice cream served in a delicious waffle cone, instead opting to have it in a blasphemous paper cup instead....