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News

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > local-dad-clearly-using-his-kids-as-excuse-to-ride-go-karts

Local Dad Clearly Using His Kids As Excuse To Ride Go-Karts

1+ day, 23+ hour ago   (25+ words) FORT WORTH, TX — Bystanders at Andretti Karting reported that local dad Mark Hamilton was clearly just using his children as an excuse to ride go-karts....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > girl-scouts-to-award-muslim-badge-to-any-girl-who-gets-married-before-age-8

Girl Scouts To Award Muslim Badge To Any Girl Who Gets Married Before Age 8

2+ week, 4+ day ago   (33+ words) U.S. — The Girl Scouts of America, in cooperation with the Islamic Center of America in Dearborn, MI, unveiled a new Muslim badge girls could earn by getting married before the age of 8....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > new-data-center-built-to-handle-influx-of-online-rants-against-data-centers

New Data Center Built To Handle Influx Of Online Rants Against Data Centers

2+ week, 6+ day ago   (26+ words) LANCASTER, PA — Local officials confirmed on Monday that a new data center had been constructed to handle the massive influx of online rants about data centers....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > 10-reasons-to-move-to-ohio

10 Reasons To Move To Ohio

2+ week, 6+ day ago   (31+ words) People may think Ohio has nothing to offer, but they're wrong. It's still part of America, and that makes it one of the 50 best places in the world to live....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > top-10-reasons-to-move-to-alabama

Top 10 Reasons To Move To Alabama

3+ week, 3+ day ago   (20+ words) Nestled in the heart of the South, there's a reason America's 22nd state is called "Sweet Home Alabama."...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > chicago-principal-concerned-as-high-school-senior-only-assaulting-teachers-at-fifth-grade-level

Chicago Principal Concerned As High School Senior Only Assaulting Teachers At Fifth-Grade Level

3+ week, 4+ day ago   (26+ words) CHICAGO, IL — Principal Dan Naylor called for a parent conference after persistent concerns that senior student Bowen King was only assaulting teachers at a fifth-grade level....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > desantis-explains-to-newsom-secret-to-counting-ballots-in-one-night-is-not-committing-fraud

DeSantis Explains To Newsom Secret To Counting Ballots In One Night Is Not Committing Fraud

3+ week, 4+ day ago   (45+ words) TALLAHASSEE, FL — After an election night in which the Sunshine State successfully tallied all its votes within hours of the polls closing, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis explained to California Governor Gavin Newsom that the secret to counting ballots in one…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > women-finally-begin-supporting-stay-at-home-moms

Women Finally Begin Supporting Stay-At-Home Moms

3+ week, 5+ day ago   (20+ words) U.S. — In a beautiful moment for America, women have finally begun to come together to rally support for stay-at-home moms....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > church-introduces-breakaway-stained-glass-windows-for-introverts-to-use-during-sharing-of-the-peace

Church Introduces Breakaway Stained Glass Windows For Introverts To Use During Sharing Of The Peace

3+ week, 6+ day ago   (30+ words) SPRINGFIELD, MO — St. Luke's Lutheran Church of Springfield updated all of its sanctuary's stained-glass windows with "breakaway glass" for introverts to use during the sharing of the peace....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > mormon-teen-takeover-leaves-three-new-houses-built-for-homeless

Mormon Teen Takeover Leaves Three New Houses Built For Homeless

3+ week, 6+ day ago   (32+ words) PROVO, UT — A mob of local Mormon teenagers engaging in the popular internet trend of staging a "takeover" reportedly left three new houses built for the homeless in its wake....