2+ week, 4+ day ago   (33+ words) U.S. — The Girl Scouts of America, in cooperation with the Islamic Center of America in Dearborn, MI, unveiled a new Muslim badge girls could earn by getting married before the age of 8....

2+ week, 6+ day ago   (27+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — With tensions rising over an ongoing trade dispute, President Donald Trump threatened to send in the military to seize control of Canada's maple syrup supply....

2+ week, 6+ day ago   (31+ words) OTTAWA — With the United States imposing massive tariffs on Canada over the weekend, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney vowed to bring the U.S. to its knees with a crippling moose tariff....

3+ week, 2+ day ago   (18+ words) BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND — Local man Roger Fisher was arrested this morning on suspicion of briefly considering sharing a meme....

3+ week, 2+ day ago   (169+ words) PERSIAN GULF — Clutching their pens and calculators tightly, thousands of accountants boarded Higgins boats this morning in preparation for the launch of "Economic D-Day" against Iran. Several of the men made their last, final update to their actuarial tables as…...

3+ week, 3+ day ago   (26+ words) HADES — A man was sent straight to Hell after his new phone autocorrected his text message from "Praise God" to "Praise Fod."...

3+ week, 5+ day ago   (30+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced on Tuesday that after declaring the Strait of Hormuz an official U.S. territory, it had immediately been filled by a floating Trump golf course....

3+ week, 6+ day ago   (31+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of mass confusion arising from President Donald Trump lashing out at longtime ally South Korea, Trump admitted that both Koreas look exactly the same to him....